Thursday, 29 March 2012

Solitude of Silence.

Ahoy!
Don't stress, I can assure you I am alive and breathing :)
My sincere apologies for my lack of posting in the last week.
I have been very busy but, I have good news for you my little blog buddies!

This weekend, I have a wicked post coming at ya!
I will be touching on the subjects of double lives and hidden agendas.
Also, will be a brief review on a comedy show I am seeing on friday night and my plans for the next few weeks, in the sense of radio work and media projects.

Get excited my chickens!
Looking forward to injecting my thoughts in to your little brains :)
MEANWHILE! Enjoy this photo of me doing a face mask.

Love love love!
xxxx

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Hold your applause, I know I'm amazing.

I always mention how I ramble on this blog - meaningless blabber about random stuff in my life.
Well, join me friends for another thrilling installment of bulls$&# !

I am trying to update my blog at least every couple of days - so it can be expected that sometimes you aren't going to get the best content out of me. I might now mention, I have a hangover. Two nights of heavy drinking with barely any sleep so this entry is not going to be fun.

It will be dark.. scary.. mysterious.

So, I would like to tell you a love story.. I love him to bits, maybe a little to much. We always have fun when we are together but for some reason I always feel bad when reality hits. I long to be with him but there is something about him that makes me ill. When we are together, its like a bomb of energy has exploded in side of me... I call him Jager, and his sexy brother's name is red bull. See what I did there? ey ey? ;)

When you think about it, why do we do this to ourselves? We go out to bars, pubs, clubs .. Spend all this money on this liquid that will either make or break you. Its social science though - we seem to be tuned to think that alcohol is this "hero". It can make your dreams come true! Turn shy to social, tired to lively, awkward to humorous but, more generally, class to mess. Don't get me wrong here though - I love going out, being social and having that little to much to drink. What I am getting at is, drinking alcohol is a choice and whatever repercussions that arise are self inflicted. I hate going out and seeing girls crying in the bathroom and shit, looking like clowns with makeup all over their face and they all say the same thing... Usually: "omg he is such a dick" or "omg she is such a slut". (excuse the french).
Did your mum ever say "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all?!"
If you are going to get all emotional and messy - maybe grab a water instead of your next vodka sunrise.

Completely disregarding everything I just said - my weekend was amazing if you need know :)
Kind of like this!
<----




I do have something serious to tell you though...
I don't want to alarm you but, if you have gotten this far - you have just wasted precious time of your life that you will never get back. I stole it from you. It is mine now. There is nothing you can do about it. Take that.

HA - hooray to pointless blog entries!

Okay kids - to whip things back in to action. I will return next with something decent! I am off to learn the workings of a radio studio tomorrow so welcome back my media/journalism related posts!
I'll let you know how it goes and my thoughts on the process.

Hope you all had fulfilling weekends and that this week flies by like a dream to lead you to the next weekend.
& Remember something that I always seem to forget - "work to live, don't live to work"

Love Always - Tessa Rose :)

Thursday, 22 March 2012

"Cheers to the freaking weekend"

At last, the weekend has arrived friends!

Big plans?
Personally, my weekend is a mass of disorganization. There is cheap drinks going at the local pub tonight but that is all I am aware of. Best idea ever - I should get drunk and do a blog post with photos and all. Keep tuned - you may be shocked!


So, to keep it short and simple - My day has been about as amusing as an empty cookie jar. I did have a lady tell me that "the cervix is like a little donut" =| Awkward right?

Well this has been fun and all, but I am going to leave you all with something to ponder...

"When we think a thing, the thing we think is not the thing we think we think, but only the thing we think we think we think." 


Have fun with that mind f&*$



Much love x

A Day in the Life;

Ahoy there ladies and gentlemen! 


Bored? Procrastinating doing something important? or Simply interested in my meaningless rambles?
You are in for a treat! A personal anecdote of the most recent happenings in my life (hold your applause).

I recently realized that, in the last few months I have pretty much done the opposite of a sea change. Going from the laid back lifestyle of living on the coast to the upbeat and busy antics of the city I have often found myself confused and lost - not so much physically like wondering the streets for hours trying to figure out where I am, but more so mentally. It is definitely a big culture shock but, after two months of living in the big smoke, I am starting to adapt to my new surroundings and honestly - I am loving it.

Have you ever been through a big lifestyle change?
Then you will understand that its no where close to an easy process adapting to the new atmosphere.
But, the thing about life is, as bad as things get - eventually things get better. It is just how it works. The way you live life is really influenced by your state of mind, so my recommendation? Think of it this way - without the bad, how could we truly respect the good? If life was good all the time, we would take things for granted and get bored.

Deep hey? I am sooo alternative, such a hipster! Jokes - I am ahead on my course work, so I am using my time to ramble on about random shit. You know what would be cool though?
Feedback! Do you have something to say about my last few paragraphs? Have you read "The Tessa Rose Philosophy"?
Tell me what you think! Are you repulsed? Have I driven you to a point of insanity? Put you to sleep?
I want to know - good or bad:  constructive criticism, whatever - challenge me!

Anyways - a bit of personal news, I fond out yesterday that I got accepted for my first job since moving to the city (YAHOO). That's another thing about living in a big city - yeah its a culture shock but its also a shock to the bank account! Expensive is an understatement & employment means I can keep living in a place that I love! So you could definitely say that I am stoked :)

NOW: Things to look forward to in my blog!
- A creative piece I am writing about a personal experience that put me in hospital for two weeks, bought my friends and family together and  really changed my life. Trust me, it is not something you want to miss out on.
- A review of the play "Boy Girl Wall" is coming at you within the next month
- Maybe a few reviews of some gigs around the city & stuff seeming I have a job now and can afford tickets!
- Expect the unexpected - keep your eye out because you never know when I might post something totally AWESOME.

Thanks for reading,
I hope to hear from some of you soon!

Legit though, this photo confirms my level of boredom ^^

BROWSE - LOVE? - SUBSCRIBE! - SHARE! 

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Bitch Say What?!

Aloha Losers of the Blogosphere,
Firstly, thanks for tuning in on this fine evening!
Say hello to what is bellow friends!
In my blog that is .. don't make shit freaky.
Anywho, I have just posted my most recent project fresh from the oven of journalism.

Have an interest in media? Read!
Don't have an interest in media? Read it anyways!

To conclude this post, I would like to let all you readers know - if you don't start following my post, this bitch is coming to get ya!
<----

HA!

BROWSE - LOVE? - SUBSCRIBE! - SHARE!

Is is time to embrace the change?



Is it time to embrace the change?
The war between broadcast, print and new age media – Tessa O’Neill reports.

The media industry thrives on perfection in the distribution. As technology advances, the distribution of breaking news is becoming easier with the use of new age media such as the internet. But, what does this mean for the future of print media such as magazines and newspapers and broadcast media such as television and radio?
We are living in a modern society that is naturally fuelled by the need to be able to access what we want, when we want it. In regards to news, the internet allows society to view and read all levels of news content from different sources, any time that we wish. This is most likely the reason that the internet is quickly growing to be the centre for mass media. 

In an investigation to truly elaborate on how different media networks handle one specific story, I looked in to the case of 58 year old Victorian sex offender that was recently arrested in Northern QLD. The story titled “Police in Hunt for Known Victorian Sex Offender Arrest Man in Queensland” was posted on the Courier Mail website on March 19 at 5:21pm. The story, now titled “Arrest after woman recognises man in Queensland cafe – Cops catch fugitive”, was then printed in today’s (20/01/12) Herald Sun on page two.

In a comparison between print and online, this example proves that the internet is a more reliable source for the most current breaking news. Information can be posted within minutes of the confirmation of an investigation, rather than waiting to be printed in tomorrow’s issue.

What if we were to focus on the comparison of internet vs broadcast media such as television and radio? Via television, society can be informed of current news events by what are commonly known as “news bulletins”. The different channels generally air their news bulletins around the time known as “prime time” which is generally in the evening around 5pm. These programs last for approximately half an hour to an hour, conveying international news, national news, regional news, local news, entertainment news, sports and weather.
 
Similar to television, radio broadcasts news programs at designated times but usually in shorter packages. Commonly, most radio stations will air news at the beginning of every hour and will usually run for approximately 3 – 8 minutes. Some, more news orientated, stations will air longer news programs of approximately half an hour in length, usually around prime time.

Focussing again on the case of the arrest of the Victorian sex offender, this story was aired in a 59 second clip on the ABC’s 7pm news program last night. When looking in to how different media networks handle one specific story, you begin to notice a pattern. The evident pattern in relation to this story shows that the internet was the first source to release the information, followed by the ABC’s news program that airs in a later prime time slot and then eventually in the Herald Sun delivered to your door step the next morning.

In conclusion, the change of times is evident, seeing news shoot across the globe within minutes via the use of the internet. Although print and broadcast media is still a reliable source, it is clear to see they are slowly becoming a thing of the past as we embrace the fact that the internet can deliver us any information we desire, merely at the click of a button.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

SUBSCRIBE & SHARE

Knowing that my blog is about as messy as a teenagers bedroom, take my hand and let me guide you through my wilderness of posts :)

The first thing you will discover on my blog is a promotional advertisement for my university course. I recently wrote this as a project and may be airing it on Melbourne's local community youth radio station SYN FM 90.7

Next is my Media Network Proposal - "pure rose". Unless you are a potential employer or really enthused about Australian Censorship and Classification regulations, I suggest you don't read this because it will probably put you to sleep!

"Are You Subjective to Their Lies?" is an article that touches on the media & documentary industry, demonstrating how difficult it can be to filter the truth from the lies.

This one is really fun! Next, you will stumble upon my personal philosophy! Pretty much like my personal instruction manual for when I mentally malfunction and go crazy. Let me enlighten your puny brains children, or read it and see if you can figure out how to really mess with my head and annoy me :)

-Just a heads up, if you can't already sense it, these is a lot of sarcasm scattered throughout this post-

Lastly, my creative response to JC Burke's "The Story of Tom Brennan". This was a project I did a couple of years ago that I thought I would throw up just for kicks. Creative writing isn't my best strength so don't be shocked if you are reading through and thinking "wow.. this is rubbish".

Now! Go forth minions, BROWSE - LOVE? - SUBSCRIBE! - SHARE!

And don't forget...

To laugh at this terrible photo of a younger me wearing Floaties togs! 

Peace and Love From Tessa Rose xxx

Radio Promotional Advertisement - Swinburne Screen and Media



Possibly to be aired on SYN FM 90.7 in up-coming months. 

Demographic: High School Students & Recent Graduates

"There are approximately 6.999 billion people living across the globe, you are one. Why should you be like everybody else? Stereotyped in to social groups and left to follow a life path that realistically you have no power over. Take a step in a new direction, a step towards Swinburne Institute of Technology.

            Breaking in to a creative career in the media industry can be like finding a needle in a haystack, the industry thrives on competition. Swinburne’s Diploma of Screen and Media course will give you the power to create your own competitive edge and prepare you for the battle to the top of the industry. Swinburne will turn your spark in to fire, giving you the power and enthusiasm to strive for success, so you are that one step closer to a career you are passionate about and two steps ahead of your competition.

            With the freedom to manipulate the course to suit your field of interest, you are in control of your future. At Swinburne, you will gain industry standard knowledge from every perspective including on screen, behind the scenes, behind the microphone and more to ensure that you are prepared for a career where the unexpected can and will happen.

            Don’t follow the crowd; follow your dreams at Swinburne Institute of Technology."

Media Network Proposal

Last year, I was assigned the task of evaluating my views on Australian censorship. In response, I created a proposal for an online media network to clearly convey my views.

PUREROSE.NET PROPOSAL


Part one – Introduction to PureRose.net

            The following report is a summary of overall censorship restrictions in Australia and how we at purerose.net correspond in how we conduct our online television and film portal. We at purerose.net strongly believe that the age people gain maturity to separate fiction from reality widely varies. Generally, we believe that people who have a love for the arts should have the maturity to view and access films that may have sexual or violent content without obtaining offence. This portal will be aimed at young adults who have a passion for artistic television and film, appealing mainly to people over the age of 17. Purerose.net will be accessible twenty four hours a day, 364 days a year, disregarding the modern censorship restrictions on free to air television.

Part Two – The Future of Internet Portals

             The world of media is fiercely changing, online anything is available at any time and purerose.net believes that what society wishes to view shouldn’t be restricted. The advances in accessibility of internet, is causing the decrease of popularity of free to air television and an increase of online television portals. People of society want to see whatever they want whenever they want and online that is possible. Especially with the arrival of exceptionally fast speed NBN broadband, allowing people to load full movies within a few short minutes. Free to air television is the past; Purerose.net is prepared for the future.

Part Three – Current Censorship and Classification Regulations

            Currently, society’s viewing access is restricted by the Australian classification board of the OFLC (Office of Film and Literature Classification). The OFLC is a group of “experts” employed by the Australian government to evaluate films and television shows and make the final decisions on what is acceptable in this country for certain age groups and what is not acceptable at all. The OFLC claims to believe that adults should be able to view whatever they like, whenever they wish but children should be protected. It is an understandable statement, but in saying this, why do they have the power to decide the age of adult maturity and what is acceptable for us to see. As previously stated, people reach levels of maturity at different ages yet a mature person under the age of 18 years legally is unable to view films and shows with a classification of R18+, at purerose.net these regulations don’t apply. Purerose.net believes that people should be able to evaluate their own level of maturity and decide what they can and cannot view.

            Society’s morals should not be in the hands of the OFLC. If parents do not want their children to view certain content, then it is their responsibility to protect their children and closely monitor what they are observing on the television and internet. Responsible people should not have to be restricted on what they wish to view, simply because certain content has been deemed inappropriate by a group of strangers. At purerose.net, the trust is placed in the hands of the viewer to make decisions on what they believe is appropriate and inappropriate.    

Part Four – Security

            Under the circumstances, being that purerose.net is of an artistic nature, we will not be censoring sexual or violent content. At purerose.net, we believe that art should not have to be censored. In saying this, it is the viewers responsibility to decide what they wish to see and hear.

            At purerose.net, current legalised restrictions will not apply. In our view, anyone who wishes to view films and television shows of artistic content should be able to do so whenever and wherever. This includes some films that have been refused classification in Australia such as Ken Park. Purerose.net has very limited restrictions, having only a basic terms and conditions page when you first attempt to enter the site. The following is an outline of the initial warning:


WARNING

The following portal contains content that may be offensive to sensitive viewers. This portal contains material that may be of a violent nature or sexually explicate. Be aware that current government classification restrictions do not apply to this portal. Viewer discretion is advised.
Press CONTINUE to accept these terms and conditions. 


By pressing continue, they agree to take full liability in what they wish to view and hear.

            Upon entry of purerose.net, there will be an option to sign up as a “pure-rose member”. If patrons wish to do so, they are then able to create a list of their preferred/favourite films and programs. We will then take this information and are able recommend similar films and ensure advertisements of films or programs irrelevant to the member do not appear. They will also be able to alter their profile settings, where they can personally censor what they view. For example, listing genres or specific film classifications as in-accessible from that account, ensuring that members can only view the things they desire.

Part Five – Advertising of PureRose.net

            Online film and television portals of an artistic nature are rare and when attempting to discover them through search engines, it is very easy to stumble upon content you aren’t looking for such as pornography or scams. Taking this in to consideration, we are trying to make it as simple as possible to inform the public of purerose.net. We are launching an internet advertising campaign, which will involve advertisements in the ’advertising section’ of popular social networking websites such as face book and twitter, listings on related websites such as artistic film/program review websites and opportunities for joining members to invite friends to join to receive prizes such as art house movie passes. This campaign will be running for approximately 4 months, then will be reduced to brief advertisements on specific websites and the launch of the PureRose face book and twitter pages.


Part Six – Film & Program Relevance at Purerose.net


The following table provides examples of which programs and films are relevant to purerose.net and irrelevant.


Relevant
Irrelevant
Skins (UK)
Disney’s Tangled (USA)
Ken Park (USA)
Mad Max (AUS)
Swimming Pool (France)
Kill Bill (USA)
Run Lola Run (USA)
Dragon Ball Z (Japan)
Girl With the Dragon Tattoo trilogy (Sweden)
Sporting Events (WW)
Cash Back (USA)
Glee (USA)
Exit Through the Gift Shop (UK)
Red Dog (AUS)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (USA)
Dora the Explorer (Spain)
Tree of Life (USA)
Harry Potter series (UK)



 Overall, purerose.net is prepared to deliver any content of an artistic nature. All information regarding censorship and classification is listed in this report, for any further enquiries please visit the “contact us” section at www.purerose.net.

Are You Subjective to Their Lies? - Tessa Rose


Fig. 1
In the media industry, there is an infinite battle for the attention of various audiences, but the shock lies in how far they will go to concur the view rating. Manipulating lies of the industry in your lounge room. 


Fantasy is often described as an escape from reality, but many are unaware that media claiming to be “reality” is not entirely based around the truth and therefore creates the question: Is reality just fantasy in disguise?

Documentaries are the soul of reality film, educating society on an endless variety of topics. But, if you are to realistically analyse the majority of documentaries, you discover that most of what we are viewing is essentially fantasy styled dramatizations.   

Does our viewing pleasure thrive on fantasy?

A documentary that lacks somewhat form of fantastical dramatisation or demonstration would not be able to attract and maintain and large audience.  The industry is forced to insert theatrical influences in to everything they release to create that emotional connection that captivates audiences.
Fig. 4
The cove, a theatrical documentary released in 2009, spread across the globe faster than the plague proposing an analysis of the dolphin slaughtering situation in Taiji, Japan.  The documentary successfully intrigues and captivates audiences with a lethal combination of an empathetic story of disaster and perfected cinema verite` and editing techniques. To the untrained eye, the cove is a precise commentator for social awareness of dolphin slaughtering, but if you are to take a closer look you may discover that we are merely being brainwashed by visually appealing special effects and irresistibly enticing music.

The cove is powerfully mind-blowing, with the frequent use of hand-held cameras and night vision, as an audience member, you feel like you are right by their side. This raises my next statement; when watching the cove we are captivated by style and hence forth fantasy. If The Cove was presented in a basic interview style, would we be equally captivated?

 As an audience we hold the power to choose what we wish to view. Most prefer to adapt to a film where they can find an emotional attachment rather than being dictated constant information and therefore the industry is somewhat forced to take advantage of this need. From this comes the creation of realistic demonstrations and dramatisations to attract and maintain audience attention.    
Fig. 3
With the release of The Cove, the controversy soon followed. There has been much speculation on whether some of the content is fiction rather than fact. These rumours of deceit include the apparent firing of Hideki Moronuki, the assistant chief of the whaling division in Japan’s fisheries agency, when reality is he is still currently employed at the agency.

Other rumours include: Misleading edit techniques used to disregard the reputation of the professor of the Health and Sciences University of Hokkaido and creating a false image of “Sea World” in which misleads audience members to believe that Sea World captures wild dolphins and contains them in captivity when fact is all dolphins in Sea World are bred in the aquarium. 

It is rumours such as these that lead society to wonder how much of the information that is claimed to be reality, is simply lies and deceit.

Documentaries are often viewed as educational tools, but what about this daily social commentator we call the news. How much of the news can sincerely be claimed as realistic news?

Fig. 6

Fig. 5
News can commonly be categorised in to two sectors; editorial and non-editorial. The difference is defined in the content. Editorial news is content presented with an influence of the publisher and editors points of view. Therefore non-editorial is simply pure unedited content presented directly to the audience. Common editorial stations in Australia include channel 7, channel 10 and channel 9 with non-editorial being the ABC, SBS and local non-profit stations.

Stop and think, if both claim to be “news” then why is it necessary to have two categories?  The answer, editorial news is full of mis-leading editing techniques, classy studios, special effects and perfect presenters to captivate audiences and leave us wanting more. It is certainly fair to say that in a race between editorial and non-editorial, editorial snatches gold every time.

 As a greedy society with high expectations, we don’t like simply being told what is right and wrong therefore editorial news stations take advantage of this philosophy in ensuring that what they present has a combination of “news” and fantasy that will keep us interested.

With the increase in technology over the years a form of animation called CGI (Computer Graphic Imaging) has become extremely popular. By knowing how to take advantage of CGI animation, you hold the power to create chillingly realistic animations where the difference between animation and reality is barely evident. The beauty of CGI, is that realistically anyone with enough motivation and persistence can do it.  
“The Faking Hoaxer” is an amateur CGI artist who has become a viral YouTube sensation. The Faking Hoaxer creates amazingly realistic animations that often involve fictional disasters and in turn demonstrate how simple it can be for news producers to take advantage of CGI and claim false content as news. “The Sydney Incident”, a YouTube video produced by the faking hoaxer in June 2010, sets a proposition of disaster showing realistic CGI animations of Sydney’s main icons destroyed.

Optimising the use of voice over, music and the local channel 7 news logo, “The Sydney Incident” is incredibly realistic to viewers. If a video of this proportion can be produced by and amateur in a garage, how can we be sure that the reports on the news aren’t CGI animations?

We are living in a society where we can never be completely sure that what we are viewing is the truth. We are living in a society of fantasy.


All hope is not lost; there are ways to avoid fictional content in the media such as:

Evaluating your sources:
Predominantly gather your information about current events from non-editorial media such as ABC and SBS.

Train the untrained eye:
Try not to be captivated by music and editing techniques that may switch your focus away from the relevant information.

Respect your trust:
Be careful what you trust, not all information in documentaries is the truth.

Reference your research:
When researching something you are interested in, gather information from multiple resources and weed out the facts from the fiction.


Tessa O'Neill
2011

The Tessa Rose Philosophy

My Personal Philosophy; Written in late 2011. 


When proposed with the question, “what is your philosophy on life?” I find myself thrown in to a spiral of deep thought and confusion. Some find a high sense of difficulty in trying to explain their beliefs and views of how they live their life. Personally, I believe that philosophy can be broken down in to different sections that, when combined, create an insight into how I interact with the world.

Lucky for us, we live in a society where we have the freedom to choose our destiny although, many take this for granted. In this modern society, many choose to follow the basic trail of life; get an education, seek employment, work hard, raise a family, or something close to this routine. Many neglect to ask questions or attempt to alter or improve what they are doing. I believe that life is too precious to take for granted and in turn I take advantage of my opportunities in having an initiative to control my life the way I please. If I was to elect specific philosophies that I believe closely justify the way I live, without doubt, I would select optimist and fatalist. I am a strong believer in the quote once said my Marilyn Monroe “Everything happens for a reason”. I see it as, our life is completely pre-destined and everything we go through is a lesson in how we can personally grow in becoming the best person we can possibly be.

Growing up in a modern society with the freedom to choose my beliefs in reference to religion, I have grown to strongly respect the principles of Tibetan Buddhism. The Buddhist religion is built around compassion and love for not only others but yourself especially. His holiness the Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, has constructed three main commitments he wishes to succeed throughout his existence on earth. These commitments outline promoting human values such as compassion and forgiveness, spreading religious harmony throughout the world, to act as a spokesperson for the people of Tibet and attempt to restore the peace. Essentially, I find the 14th Dalai Lama to be an incredibly inspirational person in my life. He has dedicated his life to helping others in creating inner peace across the globe.

My philosophical school of thought fundamentally has a strong focus on peace and inner happiness. As taught in the Tibetan Buddhist principles, I believe that to achieve inner happiness we must treat all around us with respect and compassion. Throughout life, we are faced with troubles and obstacles, but to me these are merely lessons that teach us who we are meant to be and in turn make us stronger. I have one main aspiration, to complete my life knowing that I have optimised my time on earth in a way that I have achieved all I wish to and am truly happy and at peace.

Throughout my years of education, I would like to say that I have always strived to achieve the best possible result but, that would not completely honest. As I reached senior schooling, I had a realisation that a lot of the things we are taught in school are completely irrelevant to life after school. Therefore, I have found myself only dedicating effort to the subjects I enjoy such as Film and Television and English. In saying this, these two subjects have assisted me in discovering what I want to pursue as a career in the future. I have found a strong enjoyment in the works of artistic media and journalism in the creative industries.

I believe that high school is a sanctuary for young adults and is where most find what they wish to achieve in life. High school teaches the basic principles of many sectors of life and in this has let me gain knowledge of who I want to be after graduation. With a chance to interact with friends most days of the week, I think that I have taken high school for granted. I see high school now as a gift, rather than a chore and am truly thankful for my schooling experience including the things I have learnt and people I have been lucky to meet.

In conclusion, I accept that life is a gift. I am lucky to have the power to pursue my hopes and dreams and one day achieve all that I deserve. I can honestly say that I have no regrets in my life so far and I am thankful for all the experiences I have had because without them, I would not be who I am today. Overall, I am still young and still have many lessons to learn but I am going to maintain optimistic and maintain a positive outlook on what is waiting for me in the future. 

Creative Writing Response - The Story of Tom Brennan


The Following is A creative response to JC Burke's novel "The Story of Tom Brennan" written from the perspective of the character Fin.
Written 2010 - Tessa Rose O'Neill

Lately I have been having a reoccurring dream. I’m back in the passenger seat of Daniel’s statesman. Daniel is silent. I look back at Nicole and Luke in the back seat, watching the smiles on their faces when suddenly they begin to fade away. As I’m screaming “No, Come back” there is a flash of light and suddenly the car is crushed. I am bleeding and I can’t feel my body. The only thing I can see is Daniel’s face in the distance mouthing the words “I’m sorry man, I’m sorry” and, as per usual, I wake up in a mass of sweat and tears. But, is he sorry?
                My best friends, my cousin and what I believed to be one of the greatest blokes to ever be placed on this planet is now known as a murderer. It seems odd to think that he used to be known as a great footy player and a major ladies man. I can’t stop thinking of the days when Dan, Tom and I would be practicing our footy skills out the back of the old Brennan home. Daniel would flog us every time, and he wasn’t modest about it either, but I didn’t care. He meant well.  But, how could the person that I respected so much, do what he did. That party was meant to be a celebration for the boys, we won the wattle shield and we deserved to have a good time. But that all changed when Daniel started drinking. I’m still so angry with him. Truthfully, I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He got what he deserved. But, what did I do to deserve this? He didn’t respect Clair, I loved her... Love her. “You grovelling little prick!” He screamed at me (page 74). How immature, to think that a fight over a girl could turn this horrible. I can’t write, I can’t dress myself, Can’t tie my shoes, my mum has to wipe my arse for me! I am a freaking vegetable! All because of one selfish bloke who doesn’t think before he does things.  
                Everyday in this petty life is the same. I don’t leave the bed. I sleep in the bed, I eat in the bed, I crap in a pan... whilst still in the bed. Just call me bed ridden Finney. I’m just a waste of space. What hurts the most is thinking of the life experiences I will now miss out on. I won’t get to travel the world, have children of my own, and get a good job. How can I even finish school, I can’t pick up a bloody pen. I miss playing footy with the boys. Actually, I miss the boys in general. I’m so far away from the billi’ I don’t even know if I have friends anymore. Sure I get cards and letters but they are just stupid “I’m sorry” and “Hope your okay” letters. No I’m not okay, what do you think!  Tom comes around every now and then. Being in Coghill now he isn’t too far away. Good bloke, but things have changed now. He always seems so distant and awkward around me. I guess it is awkward when you think about it. I wish it didn’t have to be like that though. I hope Tommy comes around. My birthday is coming up soon, maybe we can have a good chat then.
                I wish things weren’t like this. I’m sick of waking up every morning in a hospital bed. I’m sick of seeing my mum in tears. None of us deserved this. It all just happened. I keep thinking “Why did this happen?”, “Why couldn’t things be different”. All that stuff. The thoughts never leave my mind. Other thoughts come and go, like that hot nurse that does my check ups, but the thoughts about all the other shit are always floating in the back of my head.
 I have been wondering lately, if Dan has actually learnt his lesson from all this and if so, why did it have to come to this for it to sink in to his head how much of a dick he can be. I won’t deny it, I miss him. Wait, no, I miss the Daniel he used to be. The Daniel he was the day Brendan took us down to his secret spot on the river. Is that person still in there? And if he is, where was he the night of the crash. Man, how I wish that I could lock these thoughts away and never think of them again but no, as my councillor, Dr Johns says “Fin, it’s better to get it out in the open. If not you will be a ticking bomb that could explode at any time”
“Ah, yes sir”
                I got a postcard from Clair the other day. She is in Rome. She leaves for Lourdes in a few days (page 195).  God I miss her. I wish I could’ve run away to another country, if I could run. Sigh, this is miserable. All of this because of one girl. But to me she isn’t just a girl. She is the girl. Even now, when she is on the other side of the world, she still makes my heart skip a beat. My happiest moments are always reading her letters and postcards. I wish I could be there for her. She never says anything about it in her letters, but I can imagine that everything would just be eating away at her on the insides. I hope she knows that I will always be there for her. I would do anything for her.
                I have to try to be possitive. Think of the future. But, is there a future for me? Apparently, I’m leaving the hospital soon to go to a rehabilitation facility. Meant to be a pretty flash place. Where I go after there, I wouldn’t have a clue. I’m just taking every day as it comes, one day at a time.